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Saturday, February 23, 2013

Inside the Box Without Much of Anything In It

"Thinking outside the box might be facilitated by having a somewhat less intact box," says Dr Ullén about his new findings.

"Missing Out: In Praise of the Unlived Life" Adam Phillips - The New Yorker

The British psychoanalytic writer Adam Phillips in his new book, "Missing Out:  In Praise of the Unlived Life" (Farrar, Straus and Giroux) has some interesting quotes worthy of relating again:  

"Our lived lives might become a protracted mourning for, or an endless trauma about, the lives we were unable to live."

"There is a world of difference between erotic and romantic daydream and actually getting together with someone; getting together is a lot more work, and is never exactly what one was hoping for.  So there are three consecutive frustrations:  the frustration of need, the frustration of fantasized satisfaction not working, and the frustration of satisfaction in the real world being at odds with the wished for, fantasized satisfaction....And this is when it works."

"There is nothing we could know about ourselves or another that can solve the problem that other people actually exist, and we are utterly dependent on them....There is nothing to know apart from this, and everything else we know, or claim to know, or are supposed to know, or not know, follows on from this."

"We make sense of our lives in order to be free, not to have to make sense."

"I hold this to be the highest task for a bond between two people:  That each protects the solitude of the other."

The Sun Is Shinin' It's A New Mornin' And You're Goin' Home