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Tuesday, December 15, 2015

A Requiem For A Dream

The most traumatic film I have ever seen to date is "A Requiem For A Dream" about several different people seeking to enhance their personal lives with risky lifestyles and plans that do not turn out well. I am not one to sit through traumatizing movies because I am a very sensitive individual that uses Dissociation of my mind from Reality to escape the unpleasantries of this "life." Learned behavior as a child, because of what was happening around me at the time, is the source of the Dissociative state. Not to be confused with DisASSOCIATION, Dissociation is a disconnection into a fantasy world. I have to consciously and Mindfully meditate to bring myself back into my self and the environment. I am not on the Autistic Spectrum, I am Bipolar, and I have tried to expose myself to traumatizing events, whether real or imagined, in an effort to desensitize myself and deal with the underlying issues. There are no underlying issues, but there is a cure: Ketamine. I was in a Study at NIH in 2011 in DC and the infusion took it all away for three days. I can't afford the Treatment. It's not covered by Insurance Plans anywhere, really.