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Saturday, December 12, 2015

Married or Happy?

The Three Stooges, when they were Census Takers asked that question of a man and he never got a chance to answer before the boys were onto something else. I worked as a Census taker in 2010 and the questions were mildly intrusive. I swore an Oath never to reveal the information for the next 84 years I believe. Or was it 72 years? I can't remember, but the idea was that everyone, including me, would be too old or too dead to talk about it by then. I would have to be 120 before I could talk about it. So don't expect any personal information because I forgot about it already any way.

I remember there were a lot of questions about Race and Ethnicity, including specific tribes and nationalities I never even heard of. Being Married seemed to be the least of their concerns. They only wanted to know how many were inside the house or other dwelling. They even had a specific definition of what constituted a "living quarters." Even a cardboard box qualified if there was someone in it. So we looked everywhere, high and low. And we had to redraw the maps they gave us quite often. The Territories included tiny strips of land and mislabeled roads.

That question by Moe at the outset was not far off. If they were measuring Happy-ness, as in the "pursuit of happiness" guaranteed as a right by the Founding Fathers, would they ask if you are "happily married?" Can you imagine what would happen if the spouse was right there listening?

The Check Out man at the store announced that he has been happily married for 33 years now. I congratulated him and said I had made it 25 years before it went south. Actually it went south years before, but I like to think I made it a quarter century even. Besides, the Divorce isn't final just yet.

I talked her out of it once. After serial separations and even a Legal Separation, which we ended up Reversing, six months later she says she wants a Divorce again. We were used to "keeping up appearances" in public so no one, and I mean not even closest friends, know what is happening. She hasn't said a civil word to me since and it has been months since I have had any communication at all from her. The maturity level as an adult is just not there and what I expect and what I get are two different things. There are a thousand reasons to get a Divorce and each one has their own versions. So it is pointless to discuss details. I have second guessed myself at least a thousand times or more. I have blamed myself, her, everyone else involved, and God, and the only innocent party is God, before whom we exchanged Vows 'to love, honor, and cherish all our days; in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or for worse until death us do part: SO HELP US GOD.' Well, it was OUR solemn promise to God to do all these things and WE, me and her, FAILED GOD. That's just great! If Moe asks me if I'm Married or Happy I'll have to pass on that because I am neither. I'm IN PURSUIT.