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Friday, January 1, 2016

Final Contact

After four months of silence I reached out to make contact with my wife. She responded kindly and openly, so I thanked her for that, asked about everyone's welfare and sent my love to them all. Over six months ago now she left Wisconsin for California and is apparently content and settled without me. Who am I to disturb the peace I had been working toward for 25 years? Thus, I am in this place.

It seems so unfair, and it really is unfair, that the move was my idea to save them from delinquents in our own family. It is unfair that the peace I pursued can only be achieved with me out of the picture. All is fair in Love and War, they say. The line between them is so thin as to be indistinguishable at all and Love, Hate, and even Contempt have all been overwritten on a vellum palimpsest; illegible and  disguised for the moment with "Kindness." In all Love and War, there are cease fires to end the battle.

As in all Love and War there are casualties or collateral damage: It is no longer the trinity of husband, wife, and mother in law, but the husband replaced with a seven year old Grandson abandoned at our doorstep physically as I held him in my arms sobbing uncontrollably as his mother walked off into the night to catch an anonymous ride into the world she had become accustomed with all too well. I had arranged for us to first obtain emergency custody and finally full joint custody as a Foster Child.

He is the firstborn, that I know of, to my oldest step daughter and her boyfriend who is of Native American decent partially and a registered Tribal Member. After serving his sentence he will be released. The mother became enmeshed in, first, pharmaceutical grade pain killers and then heroin. She and her sister, whom has not yet been caught doing the same thing, have children both alive and dead. Mother Earth takes care of the latter and we take care of the seven year old until he leaves us.

To escape the thick obscuring clouds of Criminality from "Thing Two" we formulated our return to California where we had been for three years when the step daughters were young. My wife's brother and many friends are there to support them and the County here provides monthly financial support. Now, the oldest step daughter is in a new relationship and has had a surviving baby girl where his large Latino family can support them, replacing what the "Indian" Reservation here once provided.

Each contact I make is potentially the final one. It's an increasingly dangerous world out there and I am certain they will find us should disaster strike, seeking financial support primarily. I hate to be so negative, cynical, and sarcastic about these facts. I hate that it is couched in a cloak of anonymity, but there is a War on and these Battles and Cease Fires and Collateral Damage demand some encryption.